We worry. We worry a lot! Because we weren't able to have babies easily or naturally like you were and because for months we saw a Big Fat Negative, we gained a sense of thought that the bottom would always fall out. So while others enjoy their ever growing belly and wait for their morning sickness to end, we "formerly-infertiles" worry that we have had a missed miscarriage, or the baby will have a disability, or that our decrease in symptoms means that something is wrong. It's stupid, honestly, but getting your brain to believe that is something I haven't quite mastered yet. And we envy those who don't live like this, with the constant sense of worry. I'd give anything to "enjoy this pregnancy" as my husband continues to beg me to do.
Due to infertility, we were lucky to get extra ultrasounds in the beginning - while done primarily for medical purposes, I think doctors know we're the kind of women who need extra reassurance that things are going ok. However, once you "graduate" from your fertility specialist, you're a pregnant woman at 11 weeks, just like everyone else. You only get that monthly visit, and you'll probably only get an ultrasound another 2-3 times in your entire pregnancy. For me, this increased the worry. Going 4 weeks without knowing everything is ok is HARD.
So I recently bought a fetal doppler. It was a "cheap" one at only $60 so we were certainly taking a risk when we bought it that it would actually work. It had great reviews though, so for me the risk was worth the payoff. It came in the mail yesterday and I was like a kid at Christmas. I couldn't open the box fast enough or get through the manual quick enough - despite a quick stop to make a cheese quesadilla because I was starving. My husband and I spent what had to be 15 minutes just picking up my own heartbeat. It was a bit frustrating, but we didn't give up. Finally, we tried in just a slightly different spot and there it was! 156 bpm and as strong as ever.
For a girl who worries, this doppler is my salvation. I can't convince myself to stop worrying, but hearing that heartbeat always calms my fears (for at least a week). Now I know that whenever I'm questioning the health of this baby, I can be reminded easily without waiting for my monthly appointment. I can't say how much this feels like a gift from God (or fetaldoppler.net).If you were previously infertile, did you find yourself worrying more than your fellow pregnant friends? Were you a woman who worried constantly during your pregnancy, who did not deal with previous infertility or a history of miscarriages? If you had other methods for calming your worries, please share them below.
I completely understand what you're going through when it comes to the worrying. I am a worrier, and pregnancy was worse than ever. I honestly think it just depends on the person. It was the worst right before the mid-pregnancy ultrasound. I wanted sooo badly to see that my baby was developing properly and it seemed to take forever to get to 20 weeks. After that appointment's reassurance, and feeling the baby moving every day, it does get a little better. But then, every day you wake up and worry when the baby isn't moving, so it's really never ending until he/she is born!!! Good luck, and try to relax (easier said than done!)
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